When It's Not the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

What do you do when it's supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but all you feel is overwhelmed and pining for the moments of years past? I am overcome with nostalgia, but not the happy kind - the "grab your heart and squeeze all the life out of it" kind of nostalgia. The holidays have not been a joyous time for me in many years. I feel pressured to embody happiness, create happiness, and discover happiness in every nook and cranny of the world.   

Well, I can't do any of those things. I'm tired. I'm tired of being everything to everyone - all the time. 

I am tired of pretending life is fabulous, when I am struggling to see it. 

I find that I truly miss the magic of being around young children during this magical time of year. 

I miss family traditions, even when I am in the midst of those we still practice. 

I push myself to decorate, entertain, and create memories when I am not into any of it. 

Family obligations are both a blessing and a curse. Traditions are both uplifting and heartbreaking at the same time. 

I know statistically the holidays are a difficult time for many people, and I recognize that my emotions are not unique. I suppose I am just hoping that by sharing them, I may feel some relief from this burden. 

Maybe starting a new tradition will help. Please share your favorite holiday activity in the comments!